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My dear bedroom. I’ve left you on your own for too long. I’ve neglected you for too long and I’ve made you look ugly. I’m truly sorry… Please don’t give up on me and give me a second chance.

Yeahhhhh… I’m starting in the bedroom because I really need to get to my paperwork for my taxes, find receipts for returns, and find my clothing. So that I can wash them and not be tempted to go to the store and spend money I don’t have buying another piece of clothing I don’t need.

It will take baby steps because I already feel overwhelmed. Lets NOT discuss how could I let it get THIS bad because I want to talk about the future space and sanctuary that is about to be born. HAH!

Now the question is how do I start and where? I’ve been receiving a daily to do list from a site called “Flylady.net“. The creator (Flylady) calls her followers Flybabies. Isn’t that cute? (^_^) I like her system and I’m finally going to try it for real starting in the bedroom. I know that this week they are working in another room/zone of the house/apartment but if you check the site there is a collection of rooms/zones that you can work on each day for about a week. The main thing for me is to help me de-clutter and find my lost things before getting into the heavy deep cleaning.

What I like the most about this group is that you are never behind! The FlyLady tells us to start where we are and not to try to catch up. Isn’t that GREAT? I don’t have to feel overwhelmed that I’m behind the rest of the group but I can start where I am right now!  Yay! Now I’ll try this for a week and I’ll see if I’ve improved or if this FlyLady system worked for me. I’ll Keep you posted!

Sincerely,

I Am Isabel

Soooo here I am again…Humm… Today I’m going to address a serious issue that affects so many of us. PROCRASTINATION! The bane of our existence! ARGH!!! From my great years of experience at procrastinating I’ve learned several things:

1. It affects your school work. Like being academically dismissed from the university for having a 1.97 GPA because you missed deadlines or waited for the last minute? Procrastinating will do that to you.

2. Having the state and federal government after you to file your taxes from several years back? Because I can’t find any of the W-2′s that are somewhere in the room. Procrastination.

3. Gaining over 60 pounds because tomorrow is another day to exercise and now it takes a while to walk and some times it’s hard to breath? Procrastination.

4. Sent to the collection agencies for failure to pay on time and now the credit card companies don’t even want my business? Procrastination.

5. Coming up with great song ideas and lyrics and just keep collecting them until I have over 80 possible songs that I’ve never finished? Procrastination.

6. Collecting/buying instruments for years to learn to play but always find something else to do? Procrastination

7. Have a whole wall sectioned off for my home-based business but never really learned to perfect the product because I’m busy entertaining myself? Procrastination.

I can’t remember anything else from the top of my head but as I remember them I’ll keep updating this post.

In order to move forward, majority of us need some form of organization. I know there are people that are spontaneous and it works for them. I wish I was spontaneous but the reality for me is that I’d forget everything if I didn’t write it somewhere. What is worse is that I have to set an alarm in order to check my schedule or I’d forget to check my schedule. ARGH!! Some people may think that maybe I have ADD. I know I don’t have ADD and the problem is that my head feels cluttered with an overload of information. So I’m limiting the amount of information to the ones I really need to get me back on track with my life.

I guess my first place to start is..MY BEDROOM!. On the next post I’ll talk about the different system(s) I might try to help me in the bedroom.

Sincerely,

I Am Isabel

Educating Myself

I read in a book called “From The Trash Man To The Cash Man” that,

“Rich people educate themselves while poor people entertain themselves.”

I know that not all poor people entertain themselves and not all rich people educate themselves. I still thought about that quote for a while and I had to admit that one of my great waste of time is watching TV or being in the internet. I could spend about 5-10 hours a day watching anything from American series to foreign series to reading manga and searching for free online books. All of these great time wasters were for the sole purpose of relaxing after a hard day at work.

I also learned that time is a resource that can be wasted and never regained. The book taught me that my time is worth so much more than what I thought. Knowing this, I decided that since I don’t know ANYTHING about running a business I should read up on other successful people, get other business books and see if I learned anything that could be applied to my fledgeling home-based business.

I decided to start my research in the library. I bet you are asking “If the internet is there why go to the library?” I guess it’s because I miss looking at the shelves of books full of adventure and knowledge that has helped us for generations when we sought information. Since this is a beginning of a new life, I felt I should go to the library in  my search and romantically roamed through the shelves while the scent of the pages in the books gave me the feeling that I was close to the knowledge I was seeking. The following is a list of books that I borrowed from the library:

1.  Business Stripped Bare: Adventures of a Global Entrepreneur by Richard Branson

2. Everything I Know About Business I Learned From The Grateful Dead: The Ten Most Innovative Lessons From A Long, Strange Trip by Barry Barnes PhD

3.  Jesus, Inc. – The Visionary Path: An Entrepreneur’s Guide To True Success by Laurie Beth Jones

4.  Scrappy Startups: How 15 Ordinary Women Turned Their Unique Ideas into Profitable Businesses by Melanie R. Kevelest

5. The Complete Idiot’s Guide To: Starting Your Own Business by Ed Paulson

6. True To Yourself: Leading A Values-Based Business by Mark Albion

As I read these books I’ll be posting my musings and what I’ve learned and hopefully can apply to myself and business.
Sincerely,

I Am Isabel

Are Entrepreneurs Born or Made? The Case for Entrepreneurship Studies (grasshopper.com)

Here I am on Day 2 of my journey away from mediocrity. As promised from yesterday’s post, here is a detailed explanation of what is going on in my life.

I was fired! No I was not laid off/let go. I was thoroughly fired from my job because I had gone AWOL for about a month and half with no explanations. I couldn’t understand myself either. What I know is that for the last year I had started to withdraw from my social life. For example before going AWOL; I stopped attending my weekly church service, prayer meetings, bible studies, the youth ministry, and going out with friends. Stopped calling my family every so often, I would refuse to speak to my mom and when we did speak I would give her one word answers. After going AWOL from work, I would only talk to my sister (who rooms with me) for about 10 minutes each day. My eating habits consisted of eating easy meals like eggs, bread, cereal, milk, cheese, turkey cold cuts, soda, ice cream, cookies, Cheetos, Doritos, and nachos.  I would go to sleep at 3-6 am and wake up at around 6-7 pm. There were days when I stopped taking care of my personal hygiene. I didn’t comb my  hair for about 2 months (AWOL time) and I have VERY curly hair.

My last two weeks of being AWOL I walked myself to the mental health department of a hospital I trust and was enrolled in the Intensive Outpatient Care for about 2 times a week (they wanted me there the full work week but I refused). Even after I had started the therapy I still avoided going to work by getting headaches and not having any energy for getting off my bed.

Please do note that I’ve never gone for help to a mental health group. In my culture, seeking mental health help becomes a stigma that can affect how the family treats you forever more, any possible future hopes of marriage may be shot, and create difficulty in job searches. So with trepidation I enrolled myself in this program praying for information on why I was feeling and doing these things that were so contrary to my nature and that sabotaged my job. I was told that I had depression and anxiety and that the program would teach me coping skills so that I wouldn’t get into this situation again.

Now the great question is…Why did I get fired if my work probably had my medical notes? Well because I never sent in my FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) form to human resources. I let the deadline pass me by without a blink in my eyes. I just rolled over in bed and fell promptly back to sleep on the last day of the deadline to submit it.

I’m not asking for pity or sympathy. I know I deserved to get fired and my boss tried to help me as much as they could with the knowledge I had given them. Which wasn’t that much and they had to make the decision to make sure that the business process was not interrupted by someone going AWOL without explanations. The strangest thing was that when I received my dismissal letter (I guess they wanted to make sure I got that letter because they sent me 3 copies at different times), I started to panic for the first day of being fired. By the second day I was doing mental cart wheels and was greatly relieved of being fired and not having to go back to my cubicle. I felt that for the first time in my life the world was full of possibilities and many delicious adventures to experience.

This is why I’m in this blog. I want to be brutally honest and real with myself. The following list is the facts of my life where I, with God’s grace will work my way towards stability in my spiritual, mental, physical, and finally financial health.

1. I don’t speak with God at all. I need to go back to the beginning of my relationship and remember my first blush of love for Him.

2. I’m about to be 34 in September and I haven’t accomplished what I’ve had on my list in the last years.

3. I’m not even 5″1′ and I weigh about 175 lbs.

4. I still need to finish college (15 more classes) and I’ve been academically dismissed from my university for having a 1.97 GPA.

5. I don’t have any savings  and I had to tap into my pension fund until I get a new job or I’ll have to leave MD and move back with my dad in NJ.

6. I have about $35,000 worth of debt and my credit is horrendous that even identity thief’s would be appalled.

7. I have several ideas for a home-based business which I’ve only dabbled in it as a hobby.

8. My apartment’s to do list is as long as my arm and I keep on buying the supplies but never start the projects.

9. I want to get married and have kids but I’m not willing to have premarital sex or any kind of sexual petting before marriage. I know it is soooo old fashioned but this is something I’m  not willing to compromise. Another thing is that I’ve only had one date in the last 6 years (which lasted about 3 months when we both realized our families might not match). I only date those that are potential husbands because dating just for fun is not fun for me. Also, I don’t put myself out there so that might be a reason why I don’t go on dates either.

There you have it my dear readers. I feel like right now I have nothing great about me to offer the world, or a future employer, or future husband, or friends, or much confidence for an investor to invest in me. I’ve hope I haven’t forgotten to add anything to this list. If I did forget anything I’ll add it later on.

I hope that by my coming experiences in trying to change my life around, others will have hope and know that they are not alone and they to can achieve a great many things.  I would like for you the reader to leave comments and to also share your aches and pains and the changes you are trying out. Again, this is an experimental blog and I don’t know who will read this or how far I will go.

Are you willing to share this coming scary, and adventurous journey with me? Stay tuned then and let’s share our successes and failures together.

Sincerely,

I Am Isabel

P.S. I took the picture of the message I wrote with a Starbucks cup in the background because I like some of their drinks and it looked cool in black and white.

Phewww!! Well…Here I AM!! This will be my first ever blog I’m writing in order to trace my journey away from mediocrity and towards accomplishing worthwhile realistic goals. I want it to lay all bare here because there are probably others like me out there. I hope this blog will encourage you to take that first step into becoming the person you were always meant to be.

(DISCLAIMER: I do NOT encourage anyone to do something illegal in order to be their true self.)

I’ll write a more about myself tomorrow so that you may be able to understand where I’m coming from and why I needed to do something this drastic (like writing a blog) to record my journey.

Ciao!
Isabel

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